So, I failed BLOGGING 101 class!  I can only apologize and move on!  So last month we were in Phuket, Thailand.  It looked much different from our month in Cambodia.  We lived at the SHE Ministries center with another AIM team.  When we first arrived there were 2 other teams (another World Race team and a YWAM team), but both teams left about a week or so into our stay there.  We were so blessed this past month to have communal living complete with bunk beds and 12 girls sharing a bathroom!  It actually worked out great!  One of my favorite moments of each day was taking a cold shower after such a hot day while looking out the large window that overlooked the green lush mountains of Thailand.  Don't worry mom, nobody could see in...that I know of!  (If I can't see you, you can't see me, right?)

We spent every day working hard on the land we were clearing for SHE to build some new housing OR praying and preparing for our time on Bangla Road.  We loved the days when we worked the land because it was easy to see your impact!  There was physical evidence for our labor and that was good for the energy of the soul!  We also loved the days we went to Bangla Road.  On these days we would prepare for our time there hanging out with the girls in the bars.  At night we would all pile in a truck and head up the mountain to Bangla Road.  It was a place like I've never seen before. 

I want you to meet my friend JOY.  Her name is not really Joy, of course, but that's what she was to me, and I pray that I was to her as well.  I met her on the second night on Bangla Road.  She works in a bar there and has the biggest smile I've ever seen!  She is about a third of my size (as most Thai people are) but has the spirit of a giant!  She is a mother, a good friend to the other girls she works with, a leader, and a beautiful women! 

When I first met her she taught me how to play a game you see a lot on Bangla where you have to literally hit a nail in a humongous tree trunk.  I know, I know, but it was that or another game of connect four!  I couldn't help but go back almost every time I was on Bangla to see Joy.  Sometimes she was there and ran up to me as though I was her best friend.  Sometimes she commented on waiting days to see me.  And other nights she was already off with someone else she had met that night and I was lucky to get a wave in so as not to keep her from her friend for the night.  These nights were different for me than the days spent working the land.  These nights I had to remind myself of what it looks like to cultivate something rare and precious.  It takes time, patience, and a commitment to the painful process.  It meant facing rejection and still maintaining hope.

There is a flower in Thailand called the Parrot Flower.  It is so rare that some don't even believe it really exists.  I wish I had known about this sooner so I could have found one for myself, but alas I will simply choose to believe it is real.  It is said to grow on an ugly bush only in the extreme tropic areas of northern Thailand, Burma, and India.  It only blooms for about 1-2 weeks each year, but it is beautiful!  Scientists don't know the actual pollinator of this flower, which is why it has not grown anywhere else (minus once in the UK).  They say it must be something extremely small and with an unusually long tongue to get the seeds out to use for pollination.  All these things (and surely more than my 30 minutes worth of research gave me) lead to this flower seeming as only a dream, a figment of the imagination.  I imagine that's what some might think about Joy and her life.  It would be easy for me and even her to think that nobody could reach her, that nobody could save her, that the ugly bush she grows on in a bar on Bangla Road can't possibly produce something as stunning as her.  It could very easily be that nobody believes that she exists because they have not seen her, especially amidst the thousands of other girls on Bangla Road.  But she is real.  She is rare in her beauty.  She is seen, heard, and completely known by her Maker.  There is hope for her.  There is restoration available to her. 

It was difficult to say goodbye to Joy.  I wondered if I would ever see her again.  We exchanged email addresses.  She kept asking me when I was coming back to see her...I choked back tears as I said, "I don't think I'm coming back."  UGH!  How terrible!  How can I not go back?  All I could hope for at that moment was that there would come a day when we would stand together in heaven praising and worshiping the same God that she doesn't yet know.  I am putting ALL my hopes for her and ALL my faith in the fact that God will honor my prayers for her and that our friendship is only beginning. 

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my JOY complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose."  PHILIPPIANS 2:1-2

I can't tell you her name.  So, I will choose a name for her.  In Cambodia, like so many other cultures, names are significant and mean something. Most of the women have names that represent a flower of some kind.  I'm choosing a name that has captured my heart since deciding to go on this trip.  It's the word I was praying would quickly find a face to attach itself to so that when I closed my eyes at night I knew what she looked like. 

I will call this woman HOPE.

  I can't show you her picture.  So, I will describe her beauty to you.  She has a tiny frame and wide almond shaped eyes.  She has tan skin slightly darkened by the sun.  Her nose is wide and slightly flatter than mine.  Her hair is raven-like.  Her hands are delicate and move with the grace of quiet evening waves when she sews and when she draws.  She often brushes her bangs out of her eyes when leaning over the sewing machine or over her sketchbook every morning while we are working together.  Hope is a beautiful girl.  She is lovely and she has no idea.  Her giggle is quiet when she knows I am listening but much louder when she is only around her friends.  She thinks my laugh is funny, mostly because my giggle is quite woodpecker-ish and slightly hyena-like at times.  She can say my name now and has learned to say "I'm fine" when I ask how she is doing.  When we talk we always look right at each other even though there is a translator there to explain the details of what is being said.  I love that we do this. 

  I can't tell you her story.  So, I will tell you what she's like.  Hope is a designer.  She says that she wants to become a designer "one day," but I am hoping that she will soon realize that she already is.  She is creative, smart, and talented.  Everyday I get to sit with her for 2 ½ hours and watch her surprise herself at what she finds inside her own imagination.  She is skillful and yet willing to learn whatever it is I am trying to teach her.  She is an incredible leader and manages a team of men and women in the upstairs sewing room where they create their own handcrafted T-shirts. 

  For the first two weeks we have simply been designing together.  Each morning we draw, scratch out, re-design, re-scratch out, look at images on my computer for inspiration, design, and scratch out again.  I love that we are no longer fearful of what the other might be able to do better.  We simply risk getting an idea down on paper and then giggle when it looks like a complete mess!  We are learning design together and somehow becoming friends without being able to say all that we wish we could say to one another. 

  This week we are working on making patterns for a few new bag designs I made.  Pattern making is NOT a strength of mine, but again Hope and I are learning together.  I have struggled this week with feeling very inadequate in the skills I have, but I am choosing to embrace the opportunity to learn. 

  Here is a picture of the store where the products from the center are sold.  The store is beautiful and they have recently opened a café upstairs where my team is also doing some work.  Two of the girls are teaching cooking classes to introduce some new recipes.  If you know me, then you know I am NOT the one teaching cooking!  The rest of us are working on some renovation ideas for the café and also making some notes on possible editions to current products being sold in the store. 

I am loving my time here in Cambodia and falling in love with the men and women at the Daughters of Cambodia center.  I can't believe we only have a week or so left with them!  It is going to be very difficult to leave them all.

What you can be praying for:

1)    Time is coming to an end and there are still many projects to complete.  Please ask God that He would help us prioritize well and using our time here wisely while at the same time giving us time to continue investing in the relationships we have been building.

2)    Ask God to protect the staff and clients here at Daughters, especially the director Ruth Elliott.  Ask Him to provide financially for all their needs as well as raise up local Cambodians to fill the positions needed.

3)    Please ask God to maintain healthiness among our team, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.

Here are some other random pictures of some of my favorite sights here in Cambodia!

This is what it looks like to be waiting at a traffic light in Cambodia!

Monks get their tuk-tuk rides for FREE!!!

This is the WAFFLE LADY!  She makes the BEST waffles in the whole wide WORLD!  No exaggeration!  Plus, they are fresh and only 12 cents!

I've known for sometime that my team would be working at an organization called Daughters of Cambodia here in Phnom Penh, Cambodia.  You can check out their site here http://www.daughtersofcambodia.org/.  I knew that I would be doing some kind of design work for them and I was thrilled to see how God would use me here to serve through the experiences He has given me with Whitestone Motion Pictures and Scarlet's Cord.

  It's hard to come on a trip like this with no expectations.  My team has struggled a lot with this.  Though we thought we were coming with no expectations of what it would be like or what we would be doing, the truth is we did.  We thought we would spend our days listening to stories of abuse and the girls' past experiences in the sex industry here.  We thought we would know every story of how they came to Daughters and all the awful things that brought them to the doorstep.  The truth is, I haven't heard even ONE story after 7 days working with the men and women here! 

  The rules are simple:  1-Don't ask about a client's past.  2-Don't take their picture.  3-Don't give them your contact information.  4-Don't spend time with them outside of the center unless it's to meet them at church and even then you cannot spend time with them afterwards, go to their homes, or invite them to yours.  Well, that's the complete opposite of what I EXPECTED!  At first I was frustrated to be honest.  How was I supposed to help be a part of restoration and healing if I don't know what someone's past looks like?!  How am I supposed to love them the way they need to be loved, encourage them how they need to be encouraged, meet them where they are if I don't know where they've been?!

  It took about a week to realize the lesson and beauty of this.  It was the night I had decided to share my story (my past) with my team of 7.  As I sat there thinking through what to share and how to share I realized why knowing someone's past was so incredibly important to me.  My past identifies me.  When I think of myself and want to or have to describe who I am, I am this wounded little girl who has known rejection, pain, loss, wounding, abandonment, self-destruction, and despite all that was still pursued by a loving God.  My story isn't unworthy of being known, that's not at all what I'm saying.  Knowing someone's story, someone's past, helps you understand their journey, their character, their tendencies, their hopes, their fears, and what has marked them and brought them to where they are.  HOWEVER, YOUR PAST DOES NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE!  It's what you know, it's what you've experienced, but it's NOT who you are! 

  In this first stop in Asia, maybe God wanted me to FIRST think of these men and women in the way that HE does, to see them as HE sees them, to love them as HE loves them with no concern of where they have been but only with hope of where they are now and where they are headed!  What an opportunity to risk unconditional love!  And, what a great gift He would grant me at the beginning of this journey to know my own story and trust that I am more than the first few chapters!  I am the daughter of a perfectly loving Father who would never reject me.  I am a co-inheritor of a heavenly Kingdom.  My God is living and present in every moment of my life!  He sees.  He hears.  He feels.  I am made new in His sight.  I am clothed in grace and beauty!  I am restored and so are the men and women at Daughters of Cambodia!  That's how I see them now.  I don't see hopeless victims who need me to save them.  I see victorious conquerors over a life that was NOT meant for them!  I see the beauty they possess as a result of the one and only true God that I pray they will all one day come to know intimately!

  Evidently, my expectation of RESTORED HOPE has begun with me.

After arriving in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, we spent the first couple of days acclimating ourselves to the community we would be living in for the next 4 weeks.  This meant walking up and down the streets, dodging the thousands of mottos and tok toks, and weaving through the people and their storefronts, mobile fruit stands, and barefoot children.  All I could think was, "how do they live in such chaos here?"  Now, that I've been here for a few days I realize this is not chaos to them at all.  The fact that there are very few traffic lights yet tons of intersections, of which EVERYONE has the right of way, makes sense to them.  The truth is, I haven't seen one Cambodian driver get upset with another driver who cuts them off or a pedestrian who steps out in front of them.  In fact, everyone seems to simply yield to who ever needs yielding to with no assumption that the other is being malicious or inconsiderate.   It's a mind-blowing experience really.  Now, we don't think twice to cross incredibly busy roads and step into oncoming traffic.  Don't worry mom!  We look both ways before crossing!

As far as our living goes, 4 of our 5 teams are staying in a local hostel right in the city.  It costs $4 a week to live here...might need to renegotiate with my roomie when I return to the states...=).  I'm living with 2 fantastic girls, Laura and Kristin.  I'm quickly falling head over heels for them!  We are each other's safe place and comfort from the craziness of the day and I am so very thankful for them! 

Living here in the hostel is an eye opening experience for sure.  Every night the workers at the hostel drag a large lit up sign out to the road and another out to the closest street corner.  Once night falls it is not uncommon to see man after man enter the front doorway with a young girl following behind.  The men will always pay for a room while the girl waits behind him usually making no eye contact with anyone else minus maybe those working behind the counter.  The other night as I was standing in the hall outside my room talking with a teammate, an officer came out of the room right across the hall followed by a young woman.  They didn't have anything with them, no luggage, not even a motto helmet.  Less than 2 minutes passed by before a staff member from the hostel walked in the same room to clean up and get it ready for the next guest.  I stood there amazed.  It had just happened right there in front of me!  I didn't know it would be so easy to find.  Why didn't I grab her?  Why didn't I try to tell her that there was something more, something better?!?!  I just stood there, shocked, in awe, enraged, yet eerily calm.  I can't explain it, I just know it happened and I felt powerless.

Every night there seems to be another story of what a teammate has seen happening in the very place that we are living.  This has broken our hearts and moved us to pray.  Maybe God wants us to be ever aware of why we are here.  It would be easy to only be "on" while we are working in our ministry assignments, but when something is happening at your home you can't ignore it!  Praise God that He desires us to not be distracted by anything less than His work and His purpose for us here!   We are praying for HUGE things here in Phnom Penh.  Will you please join us?

Ask that God will:

-change the hearts of the police and government officials here, that they would want to reclaim justice and the protection of their people, and that they will experience the love of God in their own lives.

-show Himself to every girl and boy who is experiencing abuse tonight in Phnom Penh, that they will somehow come to know that they are seen, heard, thought of, loved, fought for, and valued by the one and only living God, their maker and their Father!

I'm not sure there is a more "welcoming" place than the airport!  I remember the days of waiting at the gates for people when they came home!  There always seemed to be a huge mass of people waiting with signs and flowers for a loved one who had been away for what seemed like years.  There was the young mother with baby on hip whispering in her mothering tone, "Daddy, will be here soon, baby."  And then there was my favorite, the longing young lover.  The man who had been separated from his other half for an eternity of one week and who kept fidgeting and fixing his collar and checking his watch.  He would switch hands over and over not knowing which was the correct "rose holding hand."  He would rise to his tiptoes searching the faces of those walking out of the tunnel until his eyes met those of his beloved. 

Suddenly, whoops and hollers came from the mass of on lookers.  Tears streamed from the young mother who was clutched by her husband and the sound of  "daddy" filled the air.  And the sweet lingering embrace captured you as you watched the two lovers finally make it to one another.  Ok, ok, I know, maybe I've just seem a LOT of movies, but I swear I've seen all those in person at some point during a moment at the airport. 

  This visit to the airport was so much different!  I wasn't going to pick some one up or drop them off at the "kiss-n-ride."  This time I was left with an enormous pack that weighed HALF my own weight to meet 32 other people in a city I had never visited to venture off to a continent I never thought I would ever step foot on.  Arriving in Seattle was very anti-climatic.  There was no one there to run to, nobody who even knew I was there, and much less anyone who wanted to enjoy a "lingering hug," HA!  But surprisingly, I was ok.  I was ok.  I waited for an hour or so and then other "racers" began to show up.  There was a moment when I realized my joy to see them wasn't comforting because I KNEW them but because they were as freaked out as I was and embracing one another was the only soothing thing we could think to do!

We made our way to the hotel that night got a bit of sleep, and left the next morning for Cambodia.  As I got on the plane, all I could think was, "what the heck am I doing?"  People don't do this!  People don't get on a plane, abandon everything stable in their lives, and go to a country that doesn't want them there!  People don't do this because it's crazy!  Then I looked around the plane and saw the faces of 32 other crazy people and realized people DO this.  We were doing this.  We bought the tickets (actually, YOU bought the tickets, thank you very much) and we were taking this ride...together.

Random facts: 

1-Asiana Air flight attendants wear the coolest outfits!  When they were serving our snacks and meals they wore these beautiful red satin aprons with embroidered flowers!  They were stunning!

My favorite part of our house is the kitchen and sunroom area. Don't get me wrong, we have the best red couches in town and my bed is beautiful, but there's something about our kitchen table and the wide-open windows of the surrounding sunroom that make it my favorite. I love how the light beams through the shades, how the glass table clinks when you put something down on it, and how the coolness of the tile floors feels on the bottom of my feet. I love that this is the room where people tend to gather when they first come to visit. And, I LOVE how it smells when my roommate is baking!!! It could be all these things that make it my favorite. Or, it might also be because this is where I come to meet with my Father on those quiet mornings when I actually take advantage of the stillness of the day. 

Today, I followed my current morning routine...coffee, 2 eggs over easy, and yogurt (this week I'm trying Greek yogurt...not a fan of the texture but I'm too aware of my money right now to throw it away!). Normally, I would plop down on the couch and turn the T.V. on to watch whatever DVR episode I missed the night before. But today I stopped at the glass table. Today, I wanted to sit with my Father. I like to sit in the chair against the wall and He always sits in the chair to my right. The windows are in the same direction and I imagine they would cast beautiful light behind Him if He were really seated there. I began to drink my coffee and eat my breakfast whilst I wondered how He would take His coffee. Would He be a cream and sugar guy or just straight black? Would He want me to get for Him or would He just point to His mug and speak it into existence? I gazed in His direction hoping He could read my mind and see the desire my heart has for Him without having to explain it. I imagine God smiles a lot, so I always end each gaze with a smile back at Him. 

Today I felt no shame before Him, no guilt, no judgment. He loves me and today I believed Him when He told me. I began to speak, out loud, yes. I started by telling Him how satisfying He is and how "enough" He is for me. I told Him that I loved Him too and that I trust Him. And then I began pouring my heart out to Him, telling Him all that I wanted in this life He's given and asking Him to change anything that wasn't what He wanted for me too. Sometimes I can feel Him literally press His thumb to my heart and it begins to gush. He keeps me tender and honest with Him that way. 

As I was talking through tears (and snot) something caught my eye outside the window. A bird was hopping around on the grass. This is not unusual for our backyard. There seem to always be birds, squirrels, our beloved bunnies, or a stray cat here and there moving around. But today, as I watched this tiny bird peck at the ground, I wondered what she might be gathering. Was it food for her babies or leaves for her nest? Did she always come to our yard or was this her first time stopping by? All I knew was that whatever she was looking for, she would find. She would find it because God also knew what she needed and He cares for her because He made her. 

I remembered a verse that I heard a long time ago in a song by Sandi Patty. I know, I know...Sandi Patty isn't the current Christian music trendsetter, but I grew up singing her songs at the top of my lungs! She taught me how to move my voice and use vibrato. And this morning all I could think about was the hymn she used to sing His Eye Is On The Sparrow. I began flipping through my Bible to find the verses and then read them over and over again!

Psalm 84:3 "Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young- a place near your altar, LORD Almighty, my King and my God."

Matthew 10:29 "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care. 

Luke 12:7 "Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." 

What a loving Father!  If He is caring for the birds, meeting their needs, knowing their purpose, providing and loving them, is He not all the more aware of His children? Does He not want to meet every one of my needs, every small desire of my heart? If His eyes watch over the sparrow, then I know He watches me! My God does not want me to sit and wait forever, He wants to give me all that I desire and even more! What father doesn't want to give their child everything? What love, what incredible love! 

I of course then went searching for the song on iTunes and immediately bought it and played it 3 times back to back! This incredible joy filled my heart! When Sandi gets to the part "I sing because I'm happy. I sing because I'm free!" you better believe I stood up in the middle of the sunroom, windows open, trees blowing, leaves raining down, and more birds than have ever been in our yard at one time fluttering around and I sang! I sang, and I sang, and I sang! I spun around throwing my hands in the air and sang! I felt completely loved, completely free, and completely taken care of! And then I laughed! I giggled because all I could think of at that moment was Snow White and how she danced and sang in the forest! She whistled, and sang, and kissed all the little animals. Maybe Snow White knew how loved she was. Maybe she sang because she was free too! Maybe she knew that someone was watching her and wanted to give her every desire of her heart! Maybe Snow White had just had breakfast at a glass table with her Father!

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we might be called children of God." 1 John 3:1

As I think of what is laying in front of me and my Wellspring team, I am joyful to know that MY God sees me and He sees the men, women, and children of Cambodia, Thailand, India, and Atlanta and cares for them! He wants to give them every desire of their hearts. He wants them to know His love. He wants to restore their lives, their beauty, and their hope! And He will do it!!!

Katie B., Merridith, Sinamon, Me, Laura, and Katie H.